You wanted freedom. You wanted to cut all ties and run as far away from this place as you could. You wanted to stop hearing the rhythm of his heartbeat in your head, wanted to stop feeling the lyrics of his words in your heart. You wanted all you had with him, wanted all you lost before it slipped through your fingers like the shreds of a dream upon waking.
You knew the delicate touch of his fingers, felt the brush of them over your skin as you sat in silence. You knew the steady sound of his breathing late at night, heard them in the moments just before you fell asleep. You knew the safety you felt in the comfort he gave you, yearned for that stillness in the chaos he left behind.
You remembered smoke filled rooms, crowds seething under low ceilings. You remembered quiet nights, forgotten films, fumbling hands. You remembered kissing, desperate, soft, heartfelt, empty, every single one different, every single one coveted. You remembered the good but never the bad, not even for a moment, no harm done. You remembered his eyes opening to gaze at your face in the morning, sheets crumpled around you to hug you close in his warmth.
Over time you wiped the slate clean, white washed the walls. Over time you sucked out the poison, stitched the wounds closed. Over time you forgot his face, once so deeply etched in to the carefully placed frame of your memories. Over time you forgot the sound of his voice, once so recognizable to your ears. Over time you cleared space to welcome another face, to want another voice, to know another love.